The Gesu - Ateneo de Manila Unvierstiy Chapel
- Thank you Father Abe for even considering my reversion story... [Sorry Bro. Ferdinand for posting even the part that you were requesting not to display in public. My apology. Now it is deleted as you have requested.]
Some people say that they are
Catholics because their faith was challenged. I on the other hand am a
Catholic because I didn’t know my faith!
My adventure started
during my collage years and ended 25 years later. It is a story of
gradual conversion in faith and finally in spiritual life. I went to my
fundamentalist friends’ church. The fellowship was great I felt alive
and renewed; my new friends started telling me their conversion stories,
how they were led by the Holy Spirit to this church, how they were
deceived by the “whore of Babylon,” by the “anti-Christ.” How wrong for
the Catholic Church to worship Mary, and that Mary had other children,
the unbiblical practice of praying the rosary and saints, purgatory, the
mass, and the other Church invented doctrines to make money and put the
people in slavery. I read these bible verses and started to feel
liberated; it felt like I was the first one who really understood the
bible (looking back, I thought I was being too arrogant). When my
cousins from the US found out that I was attending a fundamentalist
church, they sent me Jack Chick materials that propelled my hatred of
the Catholic Church. Then another group of friends asked me to join
their Bible Baptist church. So I was being indoctrinated by these two
churches. I went with them for 5 years.
My sister started to
question the church I’ve been attending and warned me that they are very
literalist in their interpretation of the bible. I debated her and my
uncle and aunts who had the same religious experience but were lead back
to the church, about the unbiblical doctrines of the Church; four
against one. I told them that the Catholic Church is actually the one
who is being very literal in the interpretation of the bible; I cited
the carrying of the cross of some people during lent to follow what
Christ said that one should carry their own cross. I saw them unable to
answer me about the whore of Babylon. It felt so good to be able to win
an argument against my sister a cum laude in PUP and against my uncle
and aunts who were both bank managers.
Then my fundamentalist
and evangelical friends group of friends started debating my other group
of friends who happened to be members of INC. I thought that the INC
won the debate so I started hanging out with them also. I was confused
because all sides were pressing me about their churches and all sides
make sense to me. When I was alone with my evangelical and
fundamentalist friends, their argument made sense, then when I was alone
with my INC friends their arguments made sense.so I prayed to God to
show me the truth. Late 1985 we went to Ateneo to play basketball. I
sat down with a man who was reading a book about Mary. I started a
conversation with him and challenged him about his catholic belief. The
man allowed me to talk for almost 10-15 minutes without contradicting or
stopping me. Then finally he gave me an advice, "Son it is good that
you are searching God at your young age. Keep looking and ask God to
open your heart and not to harden it. Pray for this every time you read
your bible.“ Then he introduced himself as a priest. He said goodbye and
left me. 
St. Justin Martyr
I read and read the NT over and over again probably about 2 dozen times.
What really stuck to me are the following bible verses:
MT 16: 18-20,18:17-18, 28: 18-20,
Jn 8:32, 14:6, 16, 26, 16:13 18:37, 10:16, 20:21,
Lk 10:16
1 Jn 4:1-6
1 Tim 3:15, 4:14. 5:22, 2 Tim 2:2.
These
are very powerful bible verses that talks about the ONE AUTORITATIVE
CHURCH, THE PROTECTION OF THE HOLY SPIRIT OF THIS CHURCH, AND THE TRUTH.
I asked myself these following questions
1. Who are these “WE” and “US” in 1 John 4:6?
2. Who and where is the Church in MT 16:18 and 18:17-18?
3. Who have the keys now in Mt 16:19?
4. If the church is protected by the Holy Spirit why all these confusion and different denominations?
5. If Jesus is the truth, why did he leave his Church divided and competing with one another?
6. Where are these people now in Luke 10:16?
No
matter how hard I tried to pray to the Holy Spirit to open the meaning
of these bible verses, I can’t properly explain them. I asked about
these bible verses to the INC minister and my INC friends, my pastors,
my evangelical Baptist and fundamentalist friends, and I wasn’t really
surprised that I got different answers, all say that I should believe
them since they have the Holy Spirit (my INC friends never claimed that
they have the Holy Spirit). So I told myself that I cannot find the
truth if I keep on listening to my friends. I have to empty myself and
study on my own with the help of the Holy Spirit. I have to find the
truth and I believe that I can find the answer in the bible since I
believe (at that time) that it is the final authority. I said that I
have to stay either a fundamentalist, an evangelical or convert to INC,
the Catholic Church wasn’t an option back then since I was totally
convinced that it was the “Whore of Babylon.” I spent almost Php 5000
buying Christian history books.
To my surprise I can’t find my
fundamentalist/ evangelical belief in the early history of Christianity!
My pastors cannot even answer who these Early Church Fathers were! The
INC minister I think just dismissed them as pagan corruption (I can’t
remember his exact words) and that I should not worry about it since
Christ Church was restored in Iglesia Ni Cristo. I read some quotes
from Sts. Justin Martyr, Ignatius, Polycarp, Irenaeus, Clement, from
Origen, Tertullian, Melito of Sardis, Clement of Alexandria, and so on,
and that is just the first 300 years of Christianity. I did not read
anything about bible alone, faith alone, once saved always saved, total
apostasy, but all about Catholic beliefs that I already rejected!
Then
I bought more books about doctrines, theology, Christology. I spent a
fortune buying books, most of them were lost since I can’t remember who
borrowed them. I was so eager to share the books that opened my mind
that I forgot who had what. I slowly started to digest these Christian
history books and how they relate to the bible. My world was shaken; I
can’t believe why I was rejecting the Church that the bible and the
history books support? Why did I believe these pastors and my friends
without examining their words? I answered all those questions above by
catechizing myself. I did not get any formal catechism at all.
One
time I attended a Catholic charismatic seminar in San Carlos Seminary.
It was conducted by an Indian priest named Father De Souza. He gave us
pamphlets about apologetics written by Peter Kreeft. Then my friend and
co- worker explored the possibility of becoming a priest. After a few
months I opted not to go because I know that it is not for me. My friend
opted out too. 5 years later he explored it again, but opted out
again.
St. Peter the Apostle carrying the Key of Heaven entrusted to him by the Lord- Back in 1988 or 1989, my friend and I read about bishop Lefevre. We both
said that this guy was making a fool of himself and leading his flock
to hell. Then in 1999, I read about him a gain and I got interested with
his ideas, about the sedevacantist. I thought that this group made
good arguments, but then again, the issue of authority reminded me that
only the Catholic Church can be trusted since the Vicar of Christ is
the only one who have possession of the keys of the Kingdom ( aside from
the king himself of course). And no bishop can practice or exercise the
power of the keys without in union with the Vicar of Christ.
My
faith was shaken again around 2001 when I continued reading the
Christian History up to 1200. I felt that the Orthodox Church was short
changed by the Catholics in history. But reading the history again this
time with the help of the Old Testament, and the theological and
historical significance of the Keys of the Kingdom, the significance of
the INFALLIBILITY DOCTRINE and how it relates to the divine authority of
the Church and the protection of the Holy Spirit, everything just
suddenly made sense to me, that the Church is REALLY PROTECTED BY THE
HOLY SPIRIT, THAT OUR LORD JESUS KEPT HIS PROMISE TO BE WITH HIS CHURCH
UNTIL THE END OF TIME, AND THAT THE FATHER IS MAKING THE CHURCH GROW, A
TRIPLE PROTECTION FROM THE HOLY TRINITY.
Now I am exploring the
possibility of becoming a deacon... a new adventure, maybe when my kids
are on their own and I finally am retired.
No comments:
Post a Comment